The stuff I think about (when I think about you)
I saw your face in the clouds again today.
Just like I did the day we laid you to rest.
For a brief moment,
Before the wind took you away,
I swear you gave me that same disappointed look you always gave me.
We never really connected,
You and I.
Though I always tried hard,
And longed for you to accept and love me.
Me and all my flaws, and perfect imperfections.
I never understood your worries,
Maybe I overlooked your experiences,
Because I was young and immature.
I was not ready to understand your position,
Or the diversities in how we as humans show love and admiration.
I regret all those trips down I-90 when I drove past exit 119.
Knowing you were there alone,
You never knew how close I was,
Only the Green Giant,
He also watched in shame as I drove cowardly by,
My laziness to commit because of that extra exit and
Our obvious failures to connect.
Now, the girls will never know you.
Never feel your love.
The malignancy took what little was left of you.
As I scourged for any remnants of pride in your loss.
I remember…there was one.