Alphabet Soup Minuscule

The Laundry Maid

Wings and Parts


With the snow, the butterflies came and they left.

Their compound became fractured with the piercing cold,

That left their wings stiff and unbalanced.

The most delicate touch gave way to the loss of senses.

I found a piece of you today,

That was left blanketed underneath the frost covered plants that have already died,

With the changing of the season.

For a moment I held you in my hands,

Though you have lost your color and ability.

In my eyes, you will always fly,

Despite your  distance.

To classify us would be dishonorable.

For we were more than wings and parts.

Partners misunderstood.

Simply thriving on the nectar of one another.

But I took too much,

And slowly drained the veins you needed to flourish.

As I toil to emerge from this chrysalis blanket that I have placed around to protect me.

Into a permanent resting stage,

Where I can feel your forceful tongue,

And get lost in the touch of your wings once more.

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20 thoughts on “Wings and Parts

  1. graceful and balanced.

  2. I like it alot, but it reads a bit like prose. Sometimes with poetry you can remove non action words that make a sentence flow to get a vivid image.

    With snow, the butterflies came and left.
    Their compound fractured by piercing cold,
    That left their wings stiff and unbalanced

    something like that…. where some of the words that help flow are removed or passive verbs switched to active ones.

    • I will look at that when it comes to revising this. This is only a first draft-as with most of my poetry on here (I despise revisions)

      • please understand this isn’t criticism — just some poems are worth talking about. Why did one choose this word vs that, etc….

      • Oh, I understand and very much love feedback and will take whatever I can get. Writing, for me, isn’t something that I can just do every day. I just cannot force it. So, when I do write-it is because I line pops into my head and takes off. So, I just write what comes to mind. What specific words would you change, with this poem? Don’t worry about offended me-for me it’s like a writer’s workshop :)

      • will do, this evening.

        I came across another word that I enjoyed, “obfuscate”. We were in a security meeting and a consultant, ex FBI was presenting. Always give kudos to someone who uses that in a sentence.

      • Haha. I like big words too. I will do just that :)

      • Hello once more.. hope you are well…

        my favorite lines are “I found a piece of you today”, and ” To classify us would be dishonorable” I really like those, and how they fit.

        a few lines are too literal… they tell so clearly that it is hard for the mind to conjure it into being.

        this line: That was left blanketed underneath the frost covered plants that have already died,

        might be: left blanketed beneath lifeless frost painted plants

        I always try to remove compound verbs like have already….

      • Gotcha-thank you, friend :)

  3. alpha….I’ve had a few tough days, so lets hope I’ve got my hat on correctly. this is a beautiful piece involving nature. but I can see the sensitivity in it in various parts. also when it comes to finding the muse, all of what I see here interacts in that process. that last line in your piece certainly would tell me it’s a good place to be.

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  5. This is beautiful as it is. Write what you write, and then don’t touch it! Telling you to use different words is like telling the snow to fall in different ways.

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